Dear Mournful Soul,

I want to let you know that even though the upcoming holidays are supposed to be a time for joy and peace, it’s okay to feel otherwise. It’s okay to feel angry and it’s okay to have other feelings besides happiness.

My heart goes out to those in the same situation as I am. A giant piece of you has been ripped away and that is one thing that can never be replaced. Which, I know, is a pain that on some occasions is worse than others.

As you continue to age, things will seem to get easier. I wanted to talk about some of the things I have learned, through my own personal experiences.

First and foremost, it’s okay to cry, no matter what anyone else has to say. People will talk. They will say you are weak. Little do they know, you are going through one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to go through, the loss of a loved one.

Normal things will never seem the same, no matter how hard you try to force them. The simplest of things will become a whole new concept to you. While your family is reminiscing precious memories over dinner, you can’t help, but miss their laugh or their smile. Family traditions will always feel a little bit emptier; like something is missing, but strangely, you will still find a way to smile through it.

When big events happen for you, you can’t help but feel a pang of sadness. Whether it’s your first job or your first day of high school, you can’t help but wish they were there to snap one more picture for their “first day of school” Facebook post that at one time, annoyed you to the point where you’d hide the pictures from your timeline. You find yourself curious, wondering what life would be like if they were there with you watching the new chapters in your life unfold.

The stories your family and friends share about are actually nice to hear. Shockingly enough, when your loved ones tell old stories about a lost one, it’s oddly soothing. It feels as if, they’re sitting there next to you, acting it out with everyone. For one slight moment, it’s like everything has fallen back into place. Listen to the stories they share, carefully because somehow they just make everything a little more bearable.

One of your favorite past-times is looking through old pictures and old family videos. As you pass around stacks of pictures, with their smile illuminating the small rectangular paper, you and your family will smile, laugh and shed a few tears together. You will remember the pictures being taken and you’ll share a special moment with them, remembering what life was like when your loved one were there with you.

As the years pass by, you’ll realize how much their passing has changed your outlook on things and how much you’ve grown from it. Slowly, you’ll begin to move on, but you can never forget the endless nights of longing for just one more moment with them. Just remember, they’re always there with you, flashing you a thumbs up with all that you accomplish.

With all of my heart,

The girl who lost her mother